The Shadow Chronicles

Brevis ipsa vita est sed malis fit longior.

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Circadian Rythym My Ass...
Take me
alley_kat
As usual here I am...awake...while the rest of America enjoys their six hours of full, undisturbed sleep. Might as well be a freaking vampire, since I am up for most of the night. But at least all this sleep depravation has been helping my depression cycles. I feel a bit better when I lose sleep for some reason. I don't like my dreams anymore. They are always sad and repetative. They always tell me what I know and what I long to forget. And they confirm what I dread the most

I am so tired of wearig the same damn mask over and over everyday. I want to rip it apart, but if I did that, then everything would dissolve. So I put it on every morning and pretend to be brave. I smile and tell the world how happy I am. I can hear my disgusting laughter bouncing off the walls. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. Maybe I won't even get to write in this any longer. And padded walls will be my new friends. I am tired of being everyone's savior. I am tired of listening to every problem in the world. When I want to speak there is no one to listen. I make other people smile everyday, but I can't help myself. I guess I am really that pathetic and fake. I can't be strong for you anymore and I'm sorry, but how I wish someone could be strong for me...

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